The Education of Ivy Leavold by Sierra Simone

Author:Sierra Simone [Simone, Sierra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Erotica, New Adult, Adult, Historical
Published: 2015-02-08T16:00:00+00:00

I don’t know how long I knelt there, slumped and sobbing, my heart rending itself into pieces. But the blue sky had silvered itself gray and the breeze had turned chilly and sharp by the time my tears finally subsided. I tried to stand¸ but my muscles screamed in protest—cramped from kneeling for so long—and I half fell over instead, curling onto my side and staring at the sky listlessly until I felt the muscles loosen and relax.

But even then, it was hard to find the motivation to stand. I would stand up and walk back to…to what? To Mr. Markham, angry and cold? Or to an empty house, bereft of his presence? Certainly, it would be to an empty bed, and I couldn’t stand that. Not when I needed him more than ever.

I stood shakily, wondering when the independent and free-willed Ivy Leavold had become this wreck of a girl who could barely walk. When had I traded my reason for madness? Because it could only be madness, this feeling that drove me toward Julian Markham. Despite what Silas had said, the police and the county were convinced that Mr. Markham had killed my cousin. What’s more, he had expressly forbidden me from asking about her death. All the evidence—the testimony of others and his own behavior—pointed to his guilt.

So why did I continue to pine for him? My body craved him, yes, but it was my mind and my soul that ached and thrashed the most without him. I hated myself for hurting him, for making him leave, yet I hated him too for leaving, for giving me no other choice, no other way. If only he’d confided in me from the beginning, I wished vehemently, then stopped. It didn’t do any good now. He’d done everything he could to keep Violet’s death shrouded in mystery and that was why we were here now.

Alone.

Apart.

Furious with each other.

As I walked, my anger gained greater and greater strength. How dare he act as if he is the victim? As if I am the one acting egregiously? He was the one suspected of murder, the one keeping secrets. How could he expect me to stand by and absorb his darkness without reacting to it?

He wanted me to be like Arabella. But I couldn’t. I could only be Ivy.

I wandered through the woods until the rain started, a drizzle that brought with it an early dusk, and by the time I made it to the house, my dress was wet and muddy and my hair was plastered to my head in tangled strands. It didn’t signify; there was no one waiting up indoors, not even a servant. They’d all retired early, I supposed, not one of them thinking to save a supper for me…or to even come looking for me.

I barely existed here. I was a ghost before I was even dead.

I peeled off my dress in my room, not bothering to change into anything else, and went to Mr. Markham’s chambers.

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